Great Expectations

I was listening to Beyonce's "If I were a Boy" and being a female I can understand where she's coming from just wanting your man to understand how you're feeling and just to communicate and be honest with you.

Listening to the lyrics it sounds as if females were men, even for a little while, they could do a much better job at it than men do because they would take into account how a women feels and whatnot. I can honestly say nothing in the world would make me want to be a man because I've seen the intense amount of pressure that women can put on them (myself included). Society alone places such a stigma on men to be strong, supportive providers and any form of being less than that is supposedly a sign of weakness. Sure, the man is supposed to be the provider and take care of things but when did they stop being human beings like the rest of us.

Sometimes I feel that we (as women) don't take the time to understand our men. We expect the flowers and the gifts and the "I love you's," the outward showing of affection and all that good stuff but what are we willing to give in return? We get far too wrapped up in why they won't do this or that and granted I understand that some men just flat out won't do this or that and won't open up and be honest with us and that can get terribly frustrating...which in turn can lead to us nagging them, yelling at them and complaining, etc. I personally know I don't want anyone fussing or yelling at me but it just seems to come so naturally when we get upset.

But have you ever looked at a man after you've just finished unloading all your feelings about who they are and what you think of them and they've had nothing to say or just simply say ok? Doesn't that just infuriate you because it seems like they just don't care. As if they couldn't possibly begin to understand how you feel, but what about how they feel? Sometimes their silence can speak volumes. The mere fact that they stuck around to hear you out should say something. No one wants to hear how they as a person have messed up especially if it's with someone they really care about. It's very hurtful to know that what you're doing isn't good enough, especially if you thought you were doing your best.

All I'm saying is I feel we're expecting superhuman abilities from them sometimes because of what? We feel like we deserve it? We're so much better than them? Or simply because they're the man and that's what their supposed to do for their woman? Really ladies? If that's your mindset it's almost 2011 and you need to free your mind from all these stereotypes of what men should do. We really need to check our attitudes because we might not be as deserving as we think we are.

I find it funny that women can say they're independent and don't need a man. I'm not saying that's not true because we all know we can do bad all by ourselves, but what I am saying is if you have a man who is doing his best, show him some of that independence sometimes. Take him out or do something that you know he would like. Sometimes telling them that you appreciate them can be more than enough.

Please, don't misunderstand anything I am saying to be taken as women don't take care of their men because I know some women who will bend over backwards for the man they love and still feel unappreciated. Every relationship is different. This is just my opinion but I think it takes a strong man to stick by a woman who will belittle him, do nothing but fuss and complain and still tell her that he loves her.

A male friend of mine told me the other day that if a man is still around after all the things you put him through, then he cares. I went to argue that that isn't enough and that women need to hear that you care and he just shook his head. Now I've come to realize that them staying around is them telling us that they care, we just refuse to listen.

To all the men out there who daily go out with the pressures of the world on your shoulders and can come home and find it in your hearts to love a woman, kudos to you because I know we are not the easiest people to get along with. Your strength and courage (b/c women can be downright scary sometimes) are commendable and you are appreciated.

To all the women who are holding down your men like four flat tires your efforts are admired as well. You are appreciated.

To all the men who want respect from their women when they're not doing anything to warrant her respect....this blog ain't for you.

To all the women who feel like they deserve their men to treat them a certain way just because you're a woman...this blog ain't for you either.

You can't expect him to be your Superman, if you're not willing to be his Superwoman.