Random Thoughts in the Midnight Hour

Since I'm awake (I'm supposed to be studying......) I've been doing some thinking and these random thoughts about myself popped into my head

I'm often inspired but rarely motivated......I'm not exactly sure why that is though

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact finding true love may take longer that I've anticipated. I am in no way shape or form a patient person.....so I'm considering this 'time period' a test of my patience and I hope to pass with flying colors so wish me luck.

I think this little 'epiphany' came about because I am constantly wanting and dreaming about the man I will one day marry and how we will love each other and start a family of our own and blah blah blah. I want a family more than anything in this world and I often see my friends getting engaged and married and having babies and I often wonder when I will get to experience such happiness of my own......and then it hits me the keywords there are "of my own" meaning just for me....mine. I can't fawn over the longing and envy (I shamefully admit) that I feel when I see such wonders but their happiness is not for me its for them.

So I'm going to wait patiently because in the past I've found myself trying to rush and even force some things in hopes that it would bring my happily ever after a lot sooner.....but that tactic backfire and in the long run just pushed it even further back which, considering I'm an impatient person, just made me even more anxious.....

"It's a process," that's what this girl says about her attitude problem almost every day in one of my classes. It often annoys me but now I kinda get where she's coming from. It is a process no matter what your hang up is it won't just disappear overnight, you have to work on it just like I have to work on my impatience when it comes to love.

I think it's for the best because I want to fall in love and be married once (the marriage part, I mean, I may have to go through a few thorns to get to that rose) so I would rather take the time and weed through the thorns and get a little scratched up to find that rose.

Hopefully loving myself will be good enough for the time being. So again wish me luck on overcoming my impatience and on my journey to finding true love :)

I love late night revelations :)